Happy Valentines Day fam! There is nothing like love!

Genesis 2:23-24 reads

“The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

That oneness, and that bonding coming out of one family and a man and woman joining together to make a new family isn’t just the programing of those who would like to capitalize from your impulsive buys at Duffy’s Fine Chocolates or the Flower Shop. But comes from our creator Himself.

But something about Valentines day pushes, or maybe just reveals what we already think about all this, so it’s a good time as any to remind you what God has said about such things, I pray it’s an encouragement, as much as it is a challenge.

1. Honor God with your body. The word is clear about this Hebrews 13:4, Galatians 5:19, 1 Thessalonians 4:3. Last year at men’s discipleship we had some really good back and forth discussion WHY God would tell us to wait till we are married, it doesn’t always make sense to us, but several testified, there was no premarital sex they don’t regret.
2. Don’t be super picky and then compromise on the big things. Pastor Eric Mason put out a video yesterday about watching that pop the ballon show, and somebody instantly popped it (meaning not interested) for a guy who was a ‘homebody” cause she likes the ‘outdoorsy type.’ Like we can be so picky about crazy stuff, and at the same time, choose to join together with someone who is a walking red flag. We are like cats, when full, will push through food to just certain things, but when hungry will start eating paper. There’s several things you could put on the list that you shouldn’t compromise on, one of the most important is that the person be someone who love Jesus. Kristy and I grew up in really different ways, and have comically different interests, but we had three things that have never gone away, interest in each other, a common faith and a willingness to work, and that can make a beautiful life!
3. Attraction isn’t just external! I say “just” because we’ve all seen it. Sometimes folks start to walk, smile, smell better, dress better and just have more confidence because of the inner healing God has done in their lives. Attraction may start with the external, but it is still impacted by what is happening in the heart. The best advice I ever heard on a young adults retreat, full of single folks. was, be the kind of man that would attract the kind of woman you want to marry, instead of obsessing about some dream list. It’s all well and good to know who you are and be comfortable in your skin, but that is real different then giving up on yourself! Attraction isn’t just the fit you wear, but could be to learn to cook, get some hobbies, and it most certainly is your character, how hard you work, how you treat other men and other women, if you are loyal or not. There’s a old saying “personality/looks get’s you in the room, but character keeps you in the room.”
4. Don’t say there’s nobody out there when you’re fishing in a puddle. Let me correct you, maybe there’s nobody compatible that you wouldn’t have to compromise for you, at your job, at church, on your block, not ‘in the world’ or even ‘in south jersey.’ If you are really ready to look for someone, there are ministries for single christians to meet up, there are events, and like it or not there’s online stuff, that is how I met my wife. I’ll keep her 😉
   It’s all going to have its brutally hard moments, there’s probably folks right now reading this that in the moment are married and wished they were single, and those who are single who wished they were married. I’m not at all saying the challenge of keeping a family isn’t worth it, I’m saying that thinking ‘only if i was married’ it would magically make your life complete and easy is a fantasy. Just as you riding off into the sunset and giving up on your family is also a fantasy. Being faithful when your single, being faithful when your married, is like punching the clock every single day, not easy, but worth it.
5. Several of Jesus’s friends and even co-laborers failed spectacularly in this area of their life. The whole thing about the gospel is He cleanses us from our past life! Our church is full of folks with a past. One of the first evangelist’s is the woman in John 4, whom Jesus could see through the Spirit that “You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband.” John 4:17-18. She didn’t walk away feeling judged and condemned, but ran down to her city shouting to the people ‘come and a hear a man who told me everything I ever did” Just like for that woman, Jesus is the true living water. Your THIRSTY soul won’t be satisfied with sex, or a relationship, if it isn’t satisfied with a life giving relationship with your creator. Make no mistake, Jesus’s team includes single parents, and folks with a long past, it does not DEFINE THEM, or discard them from His love or opportunities to serve Him, but as He saves us our job now is to respond to Him as the LORD OF OUR LIFE. Including this part of our life.

So Happy Valentine’s day!

Maybe cancel that hotel booking, you shouldn’t have booked. Jesus is worth it.
Maybe have that ‘define the relationship’ talk with someone you are with, moving into marriage or moving on.
Maybe ask God to give you the grace to stick it out with every fiber of your being to be faithful in the relationship you are in, and vowed before God to keep..
Maybe learn to trust God in a whole new way, with a whole knew level of expectation. That with Him alone, you are complete.