Brothers, whether you got resolutions or not the Devil definitely has a plan. Here’s a Screwtape letter style “ten resolutions for 2023.” This idea came from receiving a similar list from Pastor Steve Huber years ago.
John Owen warned us to “be killing sin, or sin will be killing us.” We need to understand the schemes of the Devil or we will be easily defeated. Below is the devils resolutions that will rot your soul.
10. Watch porn it hurts nobody. Actually chase the cheapest, quickest dopamine hit possible. Eat like you 16, don’t work out. Son I want you to always look for a shortcut.
9. Along those lines drink more, but there’s no need for anyone else to know, same with weed, might as well enjoy something that will really get you feeling good. There’s always something harder to try.
8. Church is fine, if you treat it like a pool membership. Go when it works for you. Don’t have the time to give or serve? There’s always next year. End of the day if your gonna go at all make sure your attitude is, what am I gonna get out of this?
7. Listen you handle things better on your own, and whenever you let other folks in it just makes it worst. I need you to never tell your secrets, especially keep them away from those preachy people who will pray for you and make you feel like you gotta deal with it. Your doing ok by yourself.
6. Repeat after me “it is what it is” let that be your prayer every day. You can’t be hurt if you have no expectations. Let’s be real you don’t deserve anything good to come into your life and why would you think you could ever be used to do any really good for others?
5. Bible??? I hate that, I meant to say… Who reads? Clips and quotes online, like one every once in awhile. Your not a ‘reader’ you got to get stuff done. Make sure to stay clear of things like mediating and study, seriously? Who does that? NOT YOU!
4. You ought to resolve in 2023 to never be weak. Best way to do that is to just stop trusting anyone or letting people get close. Now if someone has crossed you, you need to send the message that your not the guy that’s gonna lie down and be a doormat.
3. Please resolve to spend your money more separately and secretly from your spouse. Just sit and think of all the reasons this is smart, and she probably doing worst to you anyway.
2. Don’t even bother sharing the gospel, inviting someone to church. What’s the point? In fact, I need you to resolve to go less yourself in 2023 than you did in 2022. You’re just wasting your time.
1. The main thing my son is, understand that prayer is pointless. Hope is BS, you’re on your own, and besides you can just think about other guys you know who pray a lot and they are all hypocrites. You however, your just human.
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