Epiphany Church of Gloucester City

Not a Drunk

I’ve known lots of Godly leaders who don’t drink at all because of their past.  If you’ve struggled with alcoholism, or just are aware it runs in your family this is not a bad move at all, just completely abstain.  But the qualification spelled out in scripture is not abstinence but self-restraint.  An elder should not ‘be a drunk’ or ‘given to much wine.” 

Normally drinks like wine are described as a gift from God, just look good food.  Both are how the Bible describes heaven itself!  (Revelation 19:9) But good gifts, become terrible gods to us when we lack self-restraint.

Self-restraint isn’t just talking about, hey don’t get absolutely black out drunk destroyed, with no memory of what you’ve done.  We’ve also got to be careful that we don’t fall into the trap of drinking habitually to just ‘take the edge off’ the day.  It is hard to be full of the Spirit, and sober minded, ready for the spiritual battle God calls us to if we are drinking for a buzz day by day, or even getting high.  We read in Ephesians 5:18  “don’t get drunk with wine, which leads to reckless living, but be filled by the Spirit”. Sometimes we just got to believe the gospel at like 11:55 pm and we feel a bit empty inside and we are going for that third or fourth drink, that really it is only the presence of God that will fill us.  There is joy and power to live in abiding in Him!

Titus 2:11-12 tells us “For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age”. This level of self-restraint is a requirement for Elder’s in the church but it is also the sign of a genuinely growing christian when we know how to say NO to things we really want right now.  Whatever that may be.

Lord Help us to learn the power to say NO to temptation, and let nothing master us but you! Lord help us to go the living waters, where we will be truly satisfied.  Save our leaders from great sin, and help us all to look more and more like you in our lives.  Amen.

Joe Marlin

Not violent, Gentle, not quarrelsome

I remember back in 2009, there was a clip of a video that when viral by Mark Driscoll that eviscerated men, as he screamed “HOW DARE YOU!”  It really hit a nerve, a generation of fatherless (or under-fathered) men seemed to connect deeply with it, At that time I genuinely found his book “Confessions of a Reformission Rev.” genuinely helpful has he really pushed the church to get out of its safe and sanitized bubble and bring the light of the gospel to the world. I was working night sift at UPS at the time and had tons of time to listen to sermons so I started listening to his sermons and I had to stop. It was always angry, it was always about himself, pictures of the kind of dad he was, the kind of pastor he was, even though their ministry tagline was, ‘it’s all about Jesus’

Then that pastor of the fastest church in America came falling down, as his members and leaders described story after story of abuse and manipulation. The Church just completely imploded.  This story can be found in the blog “the Rise and Fall of Mars Hill.”  It’s not just one man, but you can find many preachers today who have a ton of “rage bait” on all their social media. I get it.. it can be entertaining, and engaging, and we live an ever increasingly strange and confusing world.  We see pastors doing response videos, over and over again, aiming for ever lower common denominator, often with no point of edification at all but just to mock someone or something they think is dumb. Their ministry is not stoking the fires of ‘faith, hope and love,” but instead is stoking ‘fear, hatred and lust.’ Instead of harvesting the fruits of the spirit, we see on display what looks more like the works of the flesh.

An Elder in Christ’s Church always seeks that “if possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.. “ Romans 12:18  and  to not have “anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth,and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.” – 1 Timothy 2:23-26

Oh it’s not that Christians shy away from speaking the truth or controversial issues, and the role of an Elder especially is going to be CONSTANTLY caught in the fire. You got to be ready to stand on business, and not cave in.  But friends, they are NEVER looking for a fight, and they sure don’t love fighting. 

Lord help us to take a stand with you without letting a contentious spirit invade our souls, you said blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.  Help us to know at the end of the day, we are your witnesses not only in all we say, but how we say it. Amen..

Joe Marlin

Not Greedy

He who is greedy for gain troubles his own household, but he who hates bribes will live. (Proverbs 15:27)

For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. Some have strayed from the faith, grasping after it, and pierced themselves with many sorrows. (1 Timothy 6:10)

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:21)

Scripture gives us quite a bit of warning when it comes to greed. There is an inherent sinful drive in each of us to get as much as we can – be it money, power, attention, comfort, anything at all. The main driver behind a greedy heart is simply a focus on the self, with a distinct lack of focus on others. 

A leader, on the other hand, is called to shift their focus away from themselves, and onto others. He who is called to leadership must be willing to empty himself and be ready to recognize that all he has belongs to God. One with a greedy heart who seeks to hold and maintain all he can for himself cannot truly shepherd with the flock’s interests above his own- he will always be looking for ways to benefit himself first.

In Mark 10, Jesus meets a rich young ruler who seems to genuinely want to seek God’s Kingdom – but is devastated at the idea of having to sell his possessions and give to the poor. You cannot serve two masters (money and God), and if a leader’s love of his money is greater than his love of God, then greed will always find a way to win, and it will hurt those around him, every single time. 

Lord God, I repent of the ways in which I’ve loved what I have more than I love who You are. Help me have a generous heart, and to value the people around me more than my own comfort and stability. I pray for faith to trust you to provide, and that I would not make an idol out of what I own. Amen.

Charles Pildis

Manages Kids

“He must manage his own family well, having children who respect and obey him” 1 Tim 3:4

Let’s be honest in today’s day and age, there is a lot of competition to raise your children well.  Each day we must pick and choose our battles.  Waging war with the world, with screens, with friends, and with ourselves to try to responsibly raise these mini versions of ourselves.  Trying to remember to tell them right versus wrong… to allow them to make mistakes and learn from them.  Children do not come with instruction manuals.  Showing them love, making them feel safe, feeding, clothing, and providing a roof over their heads can all look different depending on the situation. 

The one thing that we should do above all else is teach them about the love of God.  No matter what the day looks like, even if they were the only kid on the planet… God will still choose them over and over again. He will still choose to send His Son to die for them.  That no matter how much we love them, God will always love them more.  Being a leader of your family is telling your kids that Satan will try to take them from God and tempt them in so many ways but choosing God as much as God chooses us is the best path they can take. God will always have their backs and we can love them.

“Lord Jesus, help us to love our children, and let them know what our expectations for them are, but even ore so, let the know we love them and have their back. Amen”

Michelle Kovatch

Children respect and obey.

“He must manage his own household competently and have his children under control with all dignity. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of God’s church?) “ – 1 Timothy 3:4-5

“Start a youth out on his way; even when he grows old he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6

The Bible is really clear “The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself” – Ezekiel 18:20. We all will have to answer to God for how we live and can’t just blame our parents.  We also know salvation is a gift given sovereignly by God.  (Ephesians 2:8-9, Ephesians 1:4).  What this passage cannot mean is that an Elder or Pastor has to have perfect, believing children. But what it definitely does mean is that, if it’s obvious that the reason your child is wild is because you don’t know how to manage them and/or have been unwilling to, that we shouldn’t overlook that and have you also become Elder in God’s household, the Church. It must be noted, that having children ‘under control with all dignity‘ exludes just terrorizing your children into compliance through physical or verbal abuse.

What is Paul getting at with these qualification for an Elder? We may not be able to supernaturally dispense to our children the gift of faith, yet we sure can create atmosphere in the home where we walk a path of healing from our past instead of burying it, where we take serious being disciples of Jesus, where we pray, worship, and are faithful examples, not acting one way before the church and totally different at home and where we set clear boundaries that are respected in our homes. Where the general pattern of our lives is a real testimony of a changed life and our lives pointed our children to God, and didn’t drive them away from Him.

Paul is saying you can’t have a healthy home without love and order, and you can’t have a healthy church without elder’s creating an atmosphere of love and order there either.  Elder’s can’t be afraid to set boundaries and consequences at home or in the church. Elder’s in other words aren’t led by a fear of man, being afraid of what people think of them but are able to speak the truth in love, just look a good parent.

All Christians should strive to this example, we can’t always be our kid’s friend if we want to be a loving parent. Oftentimes if we are really going to function as the body of Christ we Elder’s who can call us out, and we know they are doing it from a place of love and place where they aren’t hypocrites.

Lord help us all grow in integrity and help us to manage our homes.  May you just wake us up to how we are responsible to get free and healed, and growing in our faith that we could be a genuine model in our homes.  Lord we need you, Amen!

Joe Marlin

Not a new believer.

The moment we accept Christ and receive the Holy Spirit is a pivotal moment in every single Christian’s life – our life becomes forever changed, and we very literally become a new creation (see 2 Corinthians 5:17). Having God dwell inside you, understandably, takes some getting used to. The freedom found in the Gospel is a beautiful thing, but it’s not something we can master overnight.

Paul warns that when choosing a leader, it’s important that he’s well-established in his faith, so that he does not become puffed up with pride. When you have the literal Spirit of God living in you and working through you, people notice. There’s such a subtle difference between “that person’s gifting is so incredible” and “that person is so incredible.” When we’ve had time to work through our giftings from God in the context of Christian living, we learn that it’s not us that does these things, but Christ in us. It’s such an important lesson to experientially learn before you have others behind you, because as a sinner it’s so easy to start to try and steal glory that belongs to God and put it on yourself, sometimes without even realizing.

All of Paul’s leadership qualifications are out of love, and seek to protect the Church. God has given him the foresight to identify specific problems that will arise when church leaders have specific shortcomings. He knows well Jesus’ parable of the sower, which also gives us warnings of what to look out for with those who are still getting their footing in their faith. The early days and years of our walk with the Lord, just as our early days of physically walking, are a time where we will fall down quite a bit, and we need those around us encouraging us to learn to apply the Gospel quickly – it’s not a time for us to show others how to walk well just yet.

Lord, I pray for those who are new in their faith, just learning to walk with you. Protect them from their old ways that seek to destroy what you have built in them. May this time be one of encouragement and strengthening. I pray that we as a church would seek out mature leaders, and we would be building up a new generation that is well grounded, ready to lead. Amen. 

Charles Pildis